Dem 51
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GOP 49
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This Week in Freudenfreude: Edge of Seventeen

Last week, in "This Week in Schadenfreude: Games People Play," we noted that we'd gotten one of Doug Burgum's $20 gift cards, and we wanted to know what we should do with the money, since we most certainly don't want to keep it. We got so many good suggestions that we couldn't narrow it down to 12, so we're going to list 16 options. And since many of these highlight the good work being done by decent people across the country, we moved this from "Schadenfreude" to "Freudenfreude." Here are the finalists:

  1. L.C. in Boston, MA: Contribute it to the Biden campaign. Bonus points if you can find a way to make it explicit to the Biden campaign (maybe do the donation by phone?) where the money came from and why it is going where it is going. Even more bonus points if you can find a way to make the same thing explicit to the Burgum campaign.

  2. E.M. in Stillwater, MN: Red River Women's Clinic, providing abortion services in Moorhead, MN, just across the state line from Fargo, ND.

  3. M.G. in Stow, MA: Put an ad in the Bismarck Tribune making some of the points you made in the original Schadenfreude item.

  4. H.G. in Bellingham, WA: You could always send the money to me, an elitist college-educated pro-choice suburban west coast liberal. That would really piss Doug off since it would mean I got a total of $39 from his campaign to use on purple hair dye and unicorn feed.

  5. M.D. in Akron, OH: One of my favorite gags is the sh** express. It's about $20 to send anywhere in the world. I imagine the address of Burgum's campaign headquarters is public record.

  6. E.D. in Murrieta, CA: Spend it on a 12-pack of Bud Light!

  7. A.R. in Chicago, IL: As the GOP's only apparent platform seems to be interfering in medical decisions of trans folks, I suggest just donating it to the Trans Legal Defense Fund.

  8. R.R. in Pasadena, CA: Considering how much people in North Dakota apparently hated the movie Fargo when it came out, perhaps a "You betcha!" coffee cup... that's a twofer, since that's also a Sarah Palin dig.

  9. P.M. in Beaverton, OH: Donate it to Maui Strong. They do good work, and need the money. A rich white guy helping a native population rebuild after a wildfire (arguably made hundreds of times worse by the climate change his party denies) might not be the finger in the eye you're looking for, but it feels close... and right, to me.

  10. G.S. in San Francisco, CA: I suggest donating it to the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward at the Australian Zoo in Sydney.

  11. M.C. in Dana Point, CA: Donate the $20 to the food bank in Sioux County, ND. Per Wikipedia: "The per capita income for the county was $13,542. About 39.0% of families and 47.2% of the population were below the poverty line, including 58.4% of those under age 18 and 36.1% of those age 65 or over."

  12. P.M. in Edenton, NC: Donate the gift card's amount to the Turtle Mountain Band of Chippewa. That group successfully banned fracking on their tribal lands, citing the need to preserve the natural environment and their way of life. It likely wouldn't make Burgum very happy to know his money was going to support a group that prevented fossil fuel extraction in his home state, and also (by default) took steps in climate change mitigation.

  13. N.C. in Gibsons, BC, Canada: In trying to figure out how to expend the $20, perhaps consider donating it to the ACLU of North Dakota. Their website states "The ACLU works to ensure that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and Two Spirit people belong everywhere and can live openly and authentically without discrimination, harassment, or violence."

  14. L.R.H. in Oakland, CA: The dachshund rescue of (Z)'s choice.

  15. D.H. in Oakland, CA: The Democratic Party of North Dakota.

  16. C.A. in Morrisville, NC: Donate it to Qspace (Queerspace), an LGBTQ nonprofit in the ND capital Bismarck. It is a youth focused support group for middle and high school students.

We're going to do this ranked-choice style; cast your votes here. (Z)

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