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U.S. Shoots Down Three UFOs

UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects) have been the subject of science fiction stories for decades. Men from Mars? Women from Venus? Robots from China? Who knows? In any event, after the U.S. shot down a Chinese balloon off the South Carolina coast last week, more UFOs have suddenly appeared. It's like a game of Whack-A-Mole: You shoot down one and another appears. This time, as opposed to waiting a few days to observe them, they were promptly shot down.

On Friday, a UFO was picked up on radar flying at 40,000 feet over the Beaufort Sea near Deadhorse, AK. It was the size of a small car. Fearing more bad PR, this time Joe Biden gave the order to shoot it down as soon as he was informed about it. What was it doing there? Good question. However Deadhorse is close to Prudhoe Bay, home to over 200 bird species. Maybe Chinese President Xi Jinping is a birder and wanted some good bird photos. Or maybe he is an oiler and wanted some good photos of all the oil rigs and pipelines there. Maybe the UFO wasn't Chinese. Maybe it was Russian. We don't know yet and may not for a while because recovering the debris over the frozen ocean 10 miles from land in the dead of the Arctic winter and near total darkness is no picnic. In case you haven't been there, here is the location of Deadhorse.

Map of Alaska showing Deadhorse

Mission accomplished? Maybe not. Saturday another UFO appeared up north, this time over northern Canada, also at 40,000 feet. Shortly after it was picked up, Joe Biden and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had a little chat. Although the UFO was in Canada about 100 miles from the U.S.-Canadian border, they jointly decided to have a U.S. fighter jet shoot it down over the Yukon, in Canadian territory. Another F-22 with sidewinder missiles was called into action to do the job. Canadian forces are now collecting the debris.

Another day, another UFO. Sunday, one was spotted over Lake Huron, in Michigan. This time an F-16 was sent to take it down, again with a sidewinder missile. These sidewinders really come in handy sometimes. Of the four objects shot down in the past week, the one in Canada may be the easiest to recover since it was shot down over land.

So far nobody has claimed ownership of the last three UFOs and there has been no retaliation. Still, Biden has to be careful with his new "shoot first, ask questions later" policy. If the next UFO is a high-school field trip from a very advanced alien civilization and Biden orders it shot down, the owners may get miffed and decide to vaporize the entire earth in response. Hasn't he seen Independence Day? (V)

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