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What Is Wrong With These People?, Part I: Corey Lewandowski

Speaking of things we don't really understand, we give you the career of Corey Lewandowski. Let us start by noting that his "career" in politics has been marked by nothing but failure. In 1994, he ran for the Massachusetts State House and lost. Thereafter, he got a job working for then-representative Bob Ney, who was indicted and imprisoned for corruption, although he did not get in trouble quickly enough to save Lewandowski from getting arrested for bringing a gun into the Capitol building. Once Ney had relocated to the graybar hotel, in 2002, Lewandowski went to work on the campaign of incumbent U.S. Senator Robert C. Smith, who lost (to John Sununu).

Thereafter, Lewandowski hawked seafood as the executive director of the New England Seafood Producers Association, and then worked for one of the Koch brothers' PACs, where everyone reportedly hated him. During this time, while still on the Kochs' payroll, Lewandowski ran for treasurer of Windham, NH... and lost, claiming just a quarter of the vote. It was with this auspicious résumé that Lewandowski was named Donald Trump's campaign manager. He held that job for roughly 6 months before being fired on June 20, 2016. He went to work for CNN, and got pushed out after six months. He was hired by OAN, and then fired on July 31, 2017. He did a de facto audition for Fox, and showed up obviously drunk (and so did not get the gig). He founded a consulting firm, and lasted 4 months before being forced to exit. In 2020, Lewandowski announced plans to run for the U.S. Senate from New Hampshire, then abandoned them when polls made clear he'd be crushed like a bug. He then took a job working for a Trump-supporting super PAC, and was fired 6 months later, in September 2021.

Meanwhile, on top of his train wreck of a career, Lewandowski is apparently an incorrigible lech. Among the incidents that are known: (1) he grabbed a female reporter from Breitbart news; (2) he sexually propositioned Trashelle Odom, the wife of major GOP donor John Odom (leading to a court case and an order to take 8 hours of "impulse control counseling"); (3) he was accused of slapping the buttocks of Trump supporter/activist Joy Villa; (4) he was fired from the Trumpy super PAC after being accused of sexual harassment and (5) he is reportedly carrying on an affair with Gov. Kristi Noem (R-SD) despite both he and the Governor being married (not to each other).

Why do we bring this up? Because Lewandowski keeps failing upward, and keeps getting work. And, at the moment, he is at the center of a mini-scandal. See, Lewandowski was hired to work for Louisiana gubernatorial candidate Jeff Landry (R). One of Landry's biggest financial backers is John Odom. That would be the same John Odom whose wife Lewandowski propositioned. And so, Odom has jumped off the Landry train, and is demanding his $100,000 in donations back. That's a tough pill for a campaign to swallow. On the other hand, if Odom keeps making a stink, and if he goes to court (something rich people are known to do when they're angry), it could be worth $100,000 to make him go away.

Surely, there must be other political operatives in the world, ones who don't have a .050 batting average and a rap sheet of sexual misconduct a mile long, right? Lewandowski moves in and out of the orbit of Trump, sometimes he's in favor, sometimes he's in disfavor (very much like Steve Bannon). We assume that what someone like Landry is buying, or trying to buy, is Trump's favor. "See, I hired your guy. How about an endorsement? Or even a rally?" We also assume that Lewandowski, who's clearly a smooth operator, is giving a false impression of how much influence he actually has over Trump. If so, it's another reminder that the former president sucks grifters into his orbit like a giant, grifty black hole. (Z)

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