Apr.19

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This Week in Schadenfreude: Trump Does Warrant This Space Sometimes

There is a sports-media-focused site called Awful Announcing that used to do a weekly rundown of the three worst "takes" from sports talking heads each week. And after a year or so of that feature, they decided to permanently retire several people from further consideration because those people (Jason Whitlock and Colin Cowherd, if you are wondering) said so much stupid stuff that they were taking up most or all of the list every week. Those two were thus graduated to the bad sports take Hall of Fame, so that the feature could have a wider breadth of coverage.

Similarly, Donald Trump is someone who could theoretically appear in this space just about every week. The same is true of certain members of Congress, like Marge Greene. But that would get tiresome. That said, we don't want to promote anyone to the Schadenfreude Hall of Fame, because every once in a while we might like to feature these folks.

Such is the case with Trump this week. He does so many eyebrow-raising things that... well, it doesn't really raise eyebrows much anymore. But sometimes it's worth a reminder that this is a man with many... concerning liabilities. This week, quite a few of them were on display:

• Wrath: Trump has always been infuriated by people who make him the butt of jokes. There is a theory, and it's not crazy, that his whole decision to run for president in the first place was prompted by the jokes that Barack Obama made at his expense during the 2011 White House Press Correspondents dinner.
  
  Another joke-maker, and thus target of violent anger from Trump, is late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, who also hosted the Oscars this year. During the Oscar ceremony, Trump was live-Truthing, and Kimmel read one of his comments, to much laughter from the audience. On Wednesday (which is to say, more than a month later), Trump vented his rage at Kimmel:

  Stupid Jimmy Kimmel, who still hasn't recovered from his horrendous performance and big ratings drop as Host of The Academy Awards, especially when he showed he suffered from TDS, commonly known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, to the entire World by reading on air my TRUTH about how bad a job he was doing that night, right before he stumbled through announcing the biggest award of all, "Picture of the Year." It was a CLASSIC CHOKE, one of the biggest ever in show business, and to top it off, he forgot to say the famous and mandatory line, "AND THE WINNER IS." Instead he stammered around as he opened the envelope. Supposedly his wife, and even management, begged him not to do it, "DON'T READ HIS TRUTH, JIMMY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS," they said. He was made to look like a FOOL, which he is, and at the same time go down in Television History as the WORST HOST EVER OF THE ONCE VAUNTED ACADEMY AWARDS!

  There are three problems here. First, the ratings were actually up this year (by about 4%). Second, they don't say "And the winner is..." anymore, they say "And the Oscar goes to." They only made that change 20 or so years ago, so maybe Trump missed it. And missed it again. And again. And again. Third, and finally, it was not Kimmel who announced the Best Picture award, it was Al Pacino. Easy mistake; after all, they are both Italian and are a mere 27 years different in age.
  
  
• Sloth: As with the Oscars story, there are many things that Trump does not know, and that he does not bother to double-check, or even think through, presumably because it takes too much effort. For example, even if you struggle to tell the difference between Jimmy Kimmel and Al Pacino, it should take 2 seconds to realize that the host of the Oscars does not announce the Best Picture recipient. That high-profile job is always done by an A-list actor, usually one who has a full, and legendary, career under their belts. Think Jack Nicholson or Warren Beatty or Faye Dunaway or Liza Minelli (but NOT Will Smith, at least for the next 8 years).
  
  Similarly, Trump revealed how much he does not know (or think), and how much he does not care to know (or think) this week, when he took to his boutique social media platform to post this:

  I thought STRIKES were supposed to be "unlimited" when we were picking our jury? I was then told we only had 10, not nearly enough when we were purposely given the 2nd Worst Venue in the Country. Don't worry, we have the First Worst also, as the Witch Hunt continues! ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

  This is something that is easy enough to look up. Or, alternatively, Trump could just ask his lawyers how it works. Or, even better yet, he could think about it for 2 seconds. If there were unlimited challenges, then a defendant—like, say, him—could just refuse to approve ANY jurors, and drag the trial out until the sun burns out.
  
  
• Hubris: As part of the trial coverage, it was also reported this week (first by The New York Times' Maggie Haberman) that Trump has an aide named Natalie Harp, and her job is to boost the former president's spirits and ego on a regular basis. How does she do it? She carries around a laptop and a wireless printer and prints out positive stories about Trump from the Internet for him to see. It's truly amazing to have an ego that is both that big and that fragile.
  
  
• Avarice: This week, the Trump campaign advised other Republicans that if they use his name or likeness to raise money, they really need to send 5% of their take to the Trump campaign. It's phrased as a request, but it reads like the sort of request you might get from Vito and Tony when they visit your shop in Hell's Kitchen: "This is a nice shop. We'd like to ask you to send us 5% of your take, so it stays nice."
  
  On one hand, if Trump is being used to raise money, we suppose it's at least somewhat reasonable for him to demand a cut. On the other hand, his fortunes are very much tied to those of downballot Republicans, and if they get voters to the polls, he benefits, too. So maybe hitting them up isn't sound electoral strategy. On the third hand, we all know the 5% is not for his campaign, it's for his legal fund, and he'll do whatever he can to help pay his lawyer bills.
  
  All of this said, it does not seem that Team Trump has thought through the campaign finance implications of this. If someone donates the maximum to the Trump campaign, and then donates to, say, Matt Gaetz, and then Gaetz kicks 5% of that to Trump, that is illegal, since the donor would be exceeding the legal limits. You'd think that this week, of all weeks, the former president would be mindful of the risks of mishandling campaign funds. But apparently not.

So, that's four deadly sins, which is a pretty good week's work. Did he also indulge in some gluttony, lust and despair this week? Probably so, but those things are so common for him that they make the news even less often than the other four. (Z)