Dem
47
GOP
53
We just let Jewish folks share their views on an observation that we two gentiles made. How about we follow that up with a trans perspective on the articles that we two non-LGBTQ men wrote? We ran a bunch of responses to the Edsall pieces this weekend, but saved this one for the regular week. It's from one of our most frequent trans correspondents, A.B. in Wendell, NC:
Let me preface this by pointing out, for those few readers who may not know... I am a 30-years-out trans woman, having come out in 1995, fully transitioned in 1997, and post-op since 2002. I totally agree with what S.O.F. in New York wrote. Indeed, politics is the art of the possible. And no politician can ever deliver us social acceptance.
Let me also say that every day YOU face injustice is the longest day of your life. And I have 30 years now of very long days! I have, of course, had to choose my battles, and to decide what is worth fighting for and what is not. As an example, I currently work in a retail job with a relatively limited number of regular customers. I am graduating college next month, and am hopefully moving on to bigger and better things, but I digress.
I have one customer whom I have serviced regularly for over 2 years... who literally always "sir"s me. For what I currently do, there is no way in hell I am doing it in hose and heels, nor am I putting on a faceful of makeup that will melt off in ten minutes, and the job I do is mostly done by men (though I have two other female co-workers). I have gritted my teeth and ignored the "sir" until recently, because my time in my current job is now limited in duration, and I'm less willing to put up with, if you will pardon the expression, horse hockey. And I let this customer have it.
I told him, "Look, I have been serving you and giving you good service for 2 years. You cannot tell me in all that time you never once saw my name tag! If you cannot bring yourself to call me 'ma'am,' at least don't call me 'sir!' Just 'thank you, have a nice day' will do fine."
This is the art of the possible. I can't make this guy respect that I am female. But I CAN insist he not refer to me as a male, and inform him I find that to be highly disrespectful. My boss backed me on this one, by the way.
FWIW, I like (Z)'s suggestion that we advocate for what is possible. Because most reasonable Americans would agree that, in a capitalist country, one must have a livelihood, a home, the ability to obtain credit—and, frankly, needs a safe place for them to take care of nature's business in order to participate in public life.
We can correctly point out that laws already exist against lewd and inappropriate behavior in restrooms... and that being trans does NOT exempt us from those laws. In short, if we are breaking those laws, we deserve to be popped, and if we are just taking care of nature's business... leave us alone!
We can also say that laws are meant to protect from OBJECTIVE HARM, they are not meant to protect from SUBJECTIVE HARM.
We need to focus, right now on those parts of being trans which are essential to participation in public life and survival in a capitalist nation. If nothing else, we can point out that we trans are not going to simply curl up and die, much that some might wish it—and the resulting crime/imprisonment of trans that would result in making life as a law-abiding and productive member of society impossible would cost them a lot of tax dollars.
I dunno what the right answer is. I just know that I, for one, am tired of being everyone's favorite punching bag. I am tired of being a political bargaining chip, a political football and a scapegoat. I just wanna live the best life I can in peace and quiet... which is all most people want.
Thanks for rounding out the discussion, A.B.! (Z)