Dem
47
GOP
53
It should come as no surprise that the propaganda film Melania became the latest battleground in the culture wars. A look at two popular movie-centered sites tells the tale. First, Rotten Tomatoes:
What that is saying, for those unfamiliar with the site, is that nearly all critics hated the film. However, the users who logged in and rated the film loved, loved, loved it. In fact, more viewers liked it than liked Titanic (88%), Blazing Saddles (90%), The Princess Bride (94%), Star Wars (96%) and The Godfather (98%). It's not possible to cook the books when it comes to the critics, since each critic is vetted by the staff of the site before being included in the Tomatometer. It is definitely possible to cook the books when it comes to the user ratings. And whaddya know, the vast majority of users who reviewed Melania have never rated any other film on the site. The 91 points of difference between the critics and the audience is, incidentally, the biggest gap in the history of the site.
On the flip side, there's IMDb:
There was an attempt to ratings-bomb IMDb, but it was not successful. The roughly 5,000 IMDb users who gave Melania a perfect 10 were dwarfed by the roughly 45,000 users who gave the film a 1 (the site does not permit a rating lower than 1). Undoubtedly, on both sites, a lot of reviews and ratings were submitted by people who did not actually see the film. If the IMDb rating stands, then Melania will be tied for the second-worst rating among all of the 29 million titles the site tracks. Also at 1.3/10 are Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas and Foodfight!, while just a shade lower, at 1.2/10, are Daniel the Wizard and Smolensk.
Because the MAGA faithful turned out to support their dear leader, the film did a bit better than projected, racking up $7 million in its first weekend of release and about $10 million to date. The New York Times, presumably engaged in "performing balance," had the headline 'Melania' Arrives With Strong Box Office Showing for a Documentary. It is true that documentaries rarely pull in $7-$10 million within a week of their release. However, it is also true that this particular documentary opened in 2,000 theaters, far more than nearly any other documentary. It is also true that this particular documentary was backed with a $35 million advertising campaign, something that does not happen with ANY other documentary. Also, there have been some superlatives along the lines of "This is the highest-grossing documentary since [successful documentary from 10-20 years ago]." That is only true if you do not count the most common and commercially successful form of documentary, which is the concert film. For example, Taylor Swift's Eras Tour film opened with $93 million in its first week, which is rather more than $10 million.
In any event, even if Melania outperformed expectations by a bit, it's still a flop. That word, and we probably should have made this clear when we first wrote about the film, is a term of art. Technically, it means "Did not recoup its production and marketing costs." More commonly, it means "Did not COME CLOSE to recouping its production and marketing costs." Melania is going to finish its box office run with something like $15 million, and no matter how much Amazon "makes" from streaming the film, it will never come close to getting back the $100 million+ it spent. At least, not unless we factor in the value of the bribery that's going on right under our noses.
Other than the few flattering reviews, mostly from right-wing outlets, the critics have been savage, seemingly in competition to see who can show their disdain the most fully. A few selected quotes:
Calum Cooper, Cinerama: "Melania is shambolic, putrid, pitiful garbage: A brazen, awkward, irredeemable infomercial that ignores truth and scrutiny in favour of performative humility. It's not just wretched—it's offensive to the collective intelligence of the human race."
Nick Hilton, The Independent (UK): "[The] First Lady is a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda."
Xan Brooks, The Guardian (UK): "It's one of those rare, unicorn films that doesn't have a single redeeming quality. I'm not even sure it qualifies as a documentary, exactly, so much as an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch and proffered like a medieval tribute to placate the greedy king on his throne."
Tessa Stuart, RollingStone: "It's like watching a $40 million book report..."
William Thomas, Empire: "An obsequious, ring-kissing portrait of the current U.S. administration, dressed in gauche, glossy reality-TV clothing. And yet somehow still better than Rush Hour 3."
Sean Burns, North Shore Movies: "At least Leni Riefenstahl could frame a shot."
They're pretty much all like that. Well, 92% of them are, at least.
Melania Trump deserves every bit of scorn directed her way. First, because she was an eager party to this obvious grift. Second, because she has been given a near-unparalleled opportunity to do good in the world, and all she wants to do is live a high-society life, now funded by her sleazy Amazon money. One hopes that the film rises (sinks?) to become the #1 worst film of all time on IMDb. (Z)