Dem
47
GOP
53
Here is the question we put before readers... well, the last time we put a question before readers:
J.B. in Radnor, PA, asks: How does one keep their sanity and avoid becoming depressed from getting so deep into all the demoralizing news in U.S. politics, and the country as a whole?
We got a lot of good answers, and we think this is a very important subject. So, we're going to share some of those answers right now, and more next week. Maybe we'll even go into a third week.
A.H. in Newberg OR: Yes, I get as frustrated as I believe everyone else about the current state of affairs, and I want to pull my hair out, what little is left!
I, on occasion, have been known to self-medicate with a cold craft brewed IPA while listening to Bob Dylan, Arlo Guthrie, The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, CCR, Jefferson Airplane, Glen Yarborough, The Beatles, Peter Paul & Mary, Simon & Garfunkel... the list is long!
I was, and always will be a carpenter; the greatest stress relief is just to go into the shop, take out my favorite 20-ounce waffle head framing hammer and beat the hell out of some wood and drive nails until my arm tires. Then it is time once again to grab a tall cold one and self medicate.
I have also been known to join other citizens standing on a street corner holding signs and flags and waving at passersby; we have always had good turnouts for our "NO KINGS" celebrations.
We, GAWD and I, used to unwind watching our children play soccer of volleyball in high school—very relaxing. But now our children are grown, and it is our grandchildren playing soccer or baseball that helps us believe that someway, somehow, someday.
AND, most importantly, I VOTE to register my beliefs and preferences!
There's a New World somewhere, they call the Promised Land.
L.S. in Greensboro, NC: When I was working, there were a number of occasions when the entire company was in a tizzy. Everyone from the CEO on down were in crisis mode. People were working into the wee hours of the morning. It was an absolute frenzy. But if anyone bothered to ask me, I'd tell them, "Take a deep breath. Calm down. We have a great company with outstanding employees. We'll figure it out." And, of course, we always did. In the end, 90% or more of all the extra hours were really unnecessary, and within a few months, or at most a couple of years, the whole thing was completely forgotten and the company continued on successfully.
When I was a child, the world was going to be destroyed by nuclear war. As a tween, the nation was going to be destroyed by race riots and violent anti-war demonstrations. As a teen, the crimes of the Nixon administration had permanently damaged the nation forever. In the first 10 years after I graduated from high school, inflation ranged from a low of 5.74% to a high of 13.55% with a 10-year compounded rate of 8.79%. (I had to grin slightly whenever people complained about the horrible level of inflation from 2021-2023, compound rate of 5.61%, and our dear leader's assertion that it was the worst ever. Made me wonder exactly what he was doing from 1973-82. I know he doesn't drink, but was he on something else?). Of course, the economy would never recover.
I remember the stock market crash of October 19, 1987, the dot-com crash of 2000-01, the Great Recession of 2007-08, and how each was a blow to the economy from which we would never recover. I remember friends panicking as their investments plummeted. I told them to sit tight and wait a year, and of course it took only about a year for all the market losses to fully recover.
The point is, life goes on. Should we be concerned about some of the things going on? Of course, and if able we should do what we can to make things better. But nothing ever proves to be as bad as it seems in the moment.
And even if the worse should happen and this country really does come to an end, well, the world absorbed the end of the Mayan, Egyptian, Persian, Roman, various Chinese and Indian, and the British empires, among many others, and has continued to muddle along.
So stop, look around, be grateful for family and friends, personal circumstances which either are good, or if bad, will recover and realize that few things are a greater waste of time than worrying. No matter how bleak things may seem, remember that things were undoubtedly worse in the past, and like them, these too shall pass.
I've sometimes been asked "what keeps me awake at night?" I've always answered, "nothing," because losing sleep won't solve any problems, so better to get a good night's sleep and, refreshed, tackle things in the morning.
J.P. in Pittsburgh, PA: How do I stay sane? Well, I never watch any television news. I acquired that "gift" living in Italy for 10 years of my life, and being in Italy often for business for the past 30 years. Since I couldn't really understand the news initially, I just got out of the habit of listening to it, and then, on my return to the USA, I was shocked by how "shocking" newscasters sounded (and the fact that there were so many commercials). It took me only days on my return to resolve that I would get my news from the BBC which, to this day, on my car radio, always "sounds" less intense and, frankly, doesn't really have to worry about pleasing American shock-and-awe syndromes. I READ the BBC sites (which, thanks to its global commonwealth concerns, contains news from—wait for it—the Pacific, Asia and Africa). I also read AP for my news and ignore basically anything that sounds like a "clickbait" headline. It has most certainly kept me from needing anti-depressants or alcohol to drown everything out... My disgust remains for the current American political environment, but I find it doesn't "consume" me.
M.A. in Park Ridge, IL: I've been a Democrat and a liberal all my life, and nobody is more upset by what's going on than I am. My approach to mental survival has two factors: an internal one and an external one.
First, the external: Years ago I was fretting about the Bush-Gore election, and my wife (wiser than me in all respects) told me to stop fretting and do something. So I volunteered in the Gore campaign. That was the beginning of my own political involvement over the past quarter-century, which has included: running for (and winning) a seat on the local City Council; serving as an officer of the local Democratic Party; working for other candidates running for offices (from local all the way up to president); assisting my wife in her leadership of a local political organization; and, of course, donating all the $ I can spare to candidates and causes. In short: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Second, the internal: You have a life. It continues on regardless of who's in office and what lunacy is going on. Someday you will look back on today and wish you had it back (my mom used to say "I wish I was 70 again."). Are you healthy? Are you loved? Do you have someone to love? Is there a roof over your head? Are you safe and comfy in your bed? Do you have interesting and rewarding things to do? If so, appreciate these things, look for ways to help other people, and don't let the clowns in D.C. steal your life. In short: SEIZE--AND APPRECIATE--THE DAY.
Better days are coming. By working at it, we can hasten their arrival. Keep the faith!
C.R. in Pittsburgh, PA: In current times, taking in the world news of the day (especially news involving the actions of our current administration and/or the U.S. Supreme Court) always leaves me depressed. This kind of depression doesn't seem to be the kind of depression, however, where you can simply treat yourself to an ice cream cone and come out of it. In all my seven decades I don't remember feeling this bad. Not even when I stood in Times Square in 2003 and read the ticker/zipper news on the One Times Square building about invading Iraq.
What I try to do now is to do things that make me feel good. I am an actor and a singer, so listening to a great piece of music (Bach, Mahler, the Beatles, Motown, Lady Gaga, etc.) lifts my spirits. Or I go to see a play, or the ballet, or an opera. (Yes, Mr. Chalamet, you should try it sometime.) I find a museum that will inspire me with its art and its exhibits. Experiencing the arts helps me climb out of the doldrums and sometimes gives me ideas about how the world should work. It sometimes makes me think about things I might do to make humanity more human and better. I call my Millennial nephew and his wife who live eight hours away and hear what they're doing. I seek out elderly people I know and reminisce with them about how things used to be. Usually one of these tactics will work to make me feel better.
R.L.D. in Sundance, WY: A coping mechanism that I have used for a long time and embrace thoroughly is that I can only do what I can do, but I can always do something. Maybe that's just challenging ridiculous theses on Internet forums or comment sections. I know I won't change the mind of the person I'm arguing with, but at least anyone who is reading has the opportunity to see another perspective and that there are reasonable objections that don't amount to hating America. For a lot of people, it's attending protests. Maybe it's running for political office for some people. It should definitely, for everybody, be casting your ballot every chance you get. The other thing is that I am not a victim. Sure, I don't necessarily have a lot of control of what happens around me, but I always have control over how I choose to react to it. I can move (out of state, out of the country, whatever). As difficult as it is to live with the end of America as I know it, it's still better than moving, but mainly because I choose to keep up the struggle. I stay so I can fight back. America is worth it.
P.D. in London, England, UK: Serious alcohol abuse and a TV diet of The Simpsons and Family Guy.
And it is not limited to U.S. politics. Have a look at what is going on in the U.K.
M.S. in Highland Park, IL : I find that focusing on the here and now—right here, right now—is the best way to stay sane. When the headlines are overwhelming, I turn them off and ask: Am I, right now, in physical danger? Am I hungry? Am I loved?
Less existentially, I ask: Is there a book to read? A show to watch? Dinner to make? Laundry to do?
Then I just do those things. The vast, vast majority of readers on this site are not in immediate danger. Could that change? Maybe. Right now? No. Will worrying about it help? Also no.
Even if you are in a category of person targeted by the regime (immigrant, LGBTQ, woman, etc) the odds that your immediate physical well-being is in danger at the moment you read this are nearly nonexistent. So my advice is, get up, make your coffee, watch the birds by the feeder, and, when in despair over the blood and sins of this world, remind yourself that the evils of the world can affect you only as much as you let them in.
J.S. in Sudbury, MA: I keep my sanity by going to peaceful protests, two or three a week. Holding a snarky sign and cheerfully waving at passing cars restores my spirits, especially since I have become friends with the other regular protesters. Every time a driver waves, smiles, or honks at us, I feel hopeful for humanity. When a child waves, I feel even better.
J.C. in Milwaukee, WI: The short answer is, stop watching on the sidelines and enter the game.
Start volunteering with a local or statewide political campaign. Even if it's only a few hours a week, even if it feels really basic. Importantly, join the online community and show up to in-person events, too. Make friends. If you have a big skill set that you think would be valuable for the campaign, keep trying to figure out how to flag someone's attention about it—I can all but promise they could use your talents if the right person slows down enough to understand what you have to offer.
The more tapped into politics I get, the more optimistic I am about our country's future. I see people increasingly break out of their paralysis and into civic engagement. Being in community is not only a powerful antifascist measure, but inherently an organizing force. And the leviathan that is a leftward-moving Democratic big tent is still awakening; most of the election cycles over the next few years are going to be overperformances. The new leaders of the party emerging from the 2026 senatorial and gubernatorial races will accelerate the realignment of the Democratic Party that started in 2016.
The U.S. has been broken since at least Reconstruction. We've taped ourselves back together and papered over the cracks. But all of those flaws have been exposed. The second Trump presidency showed us all that this is who we are.
But there are more of us than them, and for everything that gets shattered, the only option will be to rebuild or reform from the ground up.
It may be cliché to say it is darkest before the dawn. However, I promise you it's impossible for the darkness to demoralize you if you surround yourself with people working hard to ensure the sun will rise again, and soon.
G.K. in Blue Island, IL: I know this may sound escapist to some, but I'm very serious when I recommend that people get a dog. Aside from there being a surplus of dogs who need good homes—which makes adopting one the virtue-signaling "right" thing to do—there are many entirely self-serving, mental-health-enhancing considerations, including:
- Dogs don't vote, so you don't need to worry about being in political conflict with them.
- In most cases, dogs won't outlive you, so you don't need to worry about what kind of world you're leaving them.
- Dogs live completely in the present, easily dismiss or forget the past, and care not a whit for the future, because it's always going to be great, and you're always going to be their human, and it will just go on forever, right?
- Being around a dog helps you to see the world through their eyes, which is centering.
In a world of extreme uncertainty, everyone could stand to experience the bedrock certainty that, when they walk through the front door, they will be greeted with joy by someone who is genuinely glad to see them.
W.H. in Ballston Spa, NY: Three "groundings." The first is shared with most: the anticipated passing of the ringleader.
Second is a general treatment—recommended to all—daily viewing of any of the many masterworks performed by Diana Ankudinova. A fine soul and person with unmatched vocals and exceptional performance presence. Lives each song with all her might. Always appropriately dressed and admirable behavior. Millions of fans. She heals sick souls. Survived heart-breaking trauma to become a powerful force for good.
Third is the special solution, for me—a budding close friendship with a remarkable Gen Z person. Smart, agile, alert, kind. Does not mind our (56-year) difference in age. (Also very good-looking, but that is the least of qualities one should notice. Substance over image, but image has its role.) Aches, pains, worries of old age—disappear when she is near.
L.B. in Boise, ID: I am fond of saying "you define your own happiness." (Apparently, I am not the only person to come up with that idea, as there are plenty of sources to be found on the Internet who did not hear it from me.)
It is not particularly productive to focus mainly on the bad things when there is so much good around us all the time. We are alive, we live in an amazing time technologically, etc., with arguably the highest level of human progress happening on a daily basis in spite of those who wish to pull us back to a different century. Most everyone who reads these words won the geographic lottery and was born into a wealthy country, and everyone who reads these words won the educational lottery by becoming literate. Reading this website shows a certain level of critical thinking skills which puts one in the upper echelons of consciousness of the events in the world around them.
One trick that I have for winning most things in life is that if I am not winning by one metric, I just come up with a different metric. When I am behind in the game of Scrabble, looking at an opponent with an insurmountable lead, I just start playing a different game where I score the same number of points on every turn, or spell into two words on every turn or block my opponents from the best places on every turn. A wise man once told me that there will always be someone else with more money, better tools and a bigger penis. Enjoy what you have and find joy in many things and your life will be happier, because your happiness is up to you.
H.R. in Chapel Hill, NC: I read the news too much. It will take more than one good President to undo the damage Trump has done. If the Russians are not paying him, they should be.
I've retreated into the past, reading history and writing capsule biographies of my ancestors, for the sake of the next generation. I've recently begun using AI to polish my prose, and am frankly annoyed that it polishes better than I do.
I see no hope for us until the midterms. But on that front, I have finally begun to be a bit hopeful. With his stupid war in Iran, Donald has broken something he does not know how to fix, and his supporters are feeling the pain.
M.M. in Central Illinois: Short answer: I don't.
Long answer: Clinically depressed in my 20s, I recognize my current dysfunction as déjà vu all over again. Endeavors I love seem pointless. The pastimes I built my retirement around became dependent on Chinese manufacturing in the '00s, and we know where that stands for the foreseeable future. My bucket list is becoming unachievable. Though lofty, 10 years ago it was a worthy objective.
But what disturbs me more than anything else is the wholesale destruction of Trump's "reverse Midas touch" will not be mitigated before I pass. My remaining 10-20 years will run headlong into barrier after barrier, depleting my resources at an accelerating pace just in the living.
Sanity? Thank goodness for organized movements like "No Kings"! I can anonymously—important given the "retribution" our President so loves—express my dissatisfaction and angst along with millions of others. BUT... in experiencing the protests firsthand, where are the young people? Do they not care? Because they've learned the Boomers have taken it all, so why bother? Or is it that they anticipate no means to house or feed themselves because the AI billionaires are wiping mid-level employment off the face of the earth, and, at the same time, conservative interests are pulling the rug out from under social support systems?
Then, what happens if the "blue wave" y'all keep talking about for this November doesn't manifest? Especially because conservatives are taking every opportunity to game the system? I've known since childhood that conservatives cheat, and pat themselves on the back for it. My parents were Ayn Rand libertarians, and thinking back on their thinking disgusts me.
So... I feel helpless. And hopeless.
P.S.: My "too big for a bumper sticker" thought—"Republicans = Money. Democrats = People. Which one are you?"
T.H. in Champaign, IL: Retaining my sanity? I'm not. This is literally destroying me.
More next week. If anyone is inspired, by these answers, to weigh in, there is still time at comments@electoral-vote.com, preferably with subject line "Mental Dis-ease"!