Dem
53
Ties
3
GOP
44
There have been two stories related to staffing in the Trump administration in the past 48 hours, and we simply cannot decide which one is more insane. So, we'll just let readers decide for themselves.
First up is Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth. It is likely he is going to be impeached. Probably not convicted, although he's sleazy enough and he's disliked enough that you never know. In any event, the impeachment would certainly be an embarrassment for the administration. On top of that, Hegseth is no Rhodes Scholar, but even he is clever enough to know that, one of these days, he's going to get the blame for the Iran fiasco, and is likely going to be broomed.
It would seem that he has come up with a brilliant solution to all of these problems. Putting two and two together (which he is capable of doing, by virtue of having at least four fingers), he's noticed that his current state of residence is Tennessee. He's also noticed that Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) is about to be elected governor, and will get to pick her replacement when she resigns her Senate seat. And so, the Secretary very much likes the sound of "Sen. Pete Hegseth (R-TN)." That would avoid an impeachment, and would put him beyond Trump's firing power.
We have a very hard time imagining that Blackburn would go for this. Not only is Hegseth a loon with a ton of baggage, but that baggage also happens to be carpetbaggage. Some states are open to considering a new arrival for high office, but Tennessee is literally the state that invented the slur "carpetbagger." That said, in today's GOP, you can never say never. In particular, if Trump really leans on Blackburn to do it, so as to rid himself of a couple of headaches, she might capitulate.
Moving along, Trump needs a new press secretary, having fired the other one after less than half a Scaramucci. The betting favorite is Deputy Press Secretary Anna Kelly. She is very pretty, but her hair is red, so she has only one of the two qualifications required for the job. The next best odds belong to CNN propagandist Scott Jennings. There is no way it will be him. Strike one, he used to work for the hated Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). Strike two, he has occasionally been critical of Trump on CNN's airwaves. Strike three, he has a penis. After Sean Spicer, Trump isn't making THAT mistake again. So, Jennings is out.
The next best odds—and apparently, there is actual support for this in the White House—belong to... rapper Nicki Minaj. She used to be a garden-variety, somewhat vapid, vaguely liberal type. But the COVID-19 pandemic, and the many spats she got into on social media during that time, transformed her into a garden-variety, very vapid, MAGA edgelord. She's palled around with Trump, and has been pictured "working" at a desk in the White House.
It is true that the definitely Black Minaj is not blonde. But she is attractive, and appointing her would allow Trump to pretend he's open-minded and tolerant. Because she is, of course, one of the "good ones." By virtue of her career, Minaj is pretty good on camera and, thanks to her social media battles, she knows how to spar with the enemy. Plus, her husband was convicted of sexual assault in New York, so he and Trump would have something to talk about at cocktail parties.
It would be pretty nutty to hire a rapper with no meaningful experience for such a critical position, but inasmuch as the American people hired a reality TV star with no meaningful experience for the most critical position of all, there is very little these days that can be ruled out completely. (Z)