Dem
52
Ties
2
GOP
46
We did not particularly want to watch the Republicans' pseudo-convention, or to write about the Republicans' pseudo-convention, but the Democrats have deliberately receded from public view, on the "give your opponent enough rope to hang themselves" theory. So, the Republicans' pseudo-convention was the big news story of the day. And, of course, the "highlight" of the convention was the address delivered by Donald Trump.
If you did not see Trump's speech, and you would like to, here it is:
But please, think carefully about whether you really want to throw 2 hours (!) of your life down the drain. We can imagine some readers clicking on the link or the embedded video for a sample, but we would be stunned if a single person clicks and actually watches all the way through.
It was, to nobody's surprise, a standard Trump stump/rally speech. Plenty of braggadocio, a whole bunch of gratuitous attacks against both people and groups (e.g., Canadians), a sprinkle of racism and/or transphobia here and there, and piles and piles of red meat for the adoring crowd. There were actually a lot of empty seats (no surprise), but the speech was staged so that you could only see the rabid fans sitting behind Trump. Both parties use that trick, of course, though we would not be surprised to learn that the GOP had also added some fake crowd noise to the proceedings. That's called "sweetening" the audio track, for all you Hollywood fans out there.
If you would like an assessment of the speech, reader D.E. in Lancaster, PA has already obliged:
I was hit with a momentary lapse of sanity and watched Trump's speech at his midterm convention. I know this phrase is overused in reviews, but that was 17 years of my life I will never get back. He just kept talking and talking and talking. He repeated himself many times. It was the most inane garbage I have ever heard; and yet his cult members ate it up like it was a rare delicacy. I did learn a new word, "mutilization," which I guess is the process of mutilation, but who knows?
Trump wants to bribe the country into voting Republican by giving out a $5,000 dividend check, but only if the GOP wins both houses. I will place that check right beside my DOGE check, my tariff dividend check and all his other promised-but-never-materialized checks. I also found out he's really serious about renaming New Mexico. And I learned that "Strait of Hormuz" is actually pronounced "Strait of Hormone" or maybe "Whoremo." Other than that, it was a complete waste of time. In fact, on reflection, I would rather have 8-inch-long rusty knitting needles jabbed repeatedly in my eyes than have to listen to his Crapapalooza meandering speech ever again. His sell-by date is long past.
Again, you really have to stop holding back, D.E.
We can't disagree with this assessment. We loathe "red meat" speeches, regardless of what side of the aisle they come from, because they are vapid. That said, we will give you the one bit of good news, if you're MAGA. The good news is that Trump, though he keeps getting caught dozing at meetings, was very high-energy for the entire 2 hours. Maybe he made sure to be rested. Maybe he was taking something, like adderall. Maybe he is energized by being the belle of the ball. Maybe reports of his semi-narcolepsy have been greatly exaggerated. We don't know, but if you're Susie Wiles or Stephen Miller, you have to be thrilled that he managed to bring Springsteen-like energy for 120 minutes.
The biggest news to come out of the speech, which D.E. alluded to, is that Trump announced a plan to send a $5,000 check to every American adult, but only if the Republicans win the election. Presumably, "win the election" means "retain control of both chambers of Congress." He also said that Americans would be required to spend the money in the United States.
This is like shooting fish in a barrel, but let us now list the obvious questions/problems:
That last question is the most important one, at least for purposes of an election-focused site. We cannot imagine anyone being foolish enough to think this scheme will fly, and that there will be a $5,000 check in the mail, just in time for Christmas. You're more likely to win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes, or to get the money as thanks from a Nigerian prince who needs your assistance to move his inheritance out of the country. That said, we would be remiss if we did not point out H.L. Mencken's observation that "no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people."
Incidentally, as a somewhat surreal sidebar, (Z) watched the speech using the link above. And when YouTube interrupted for a commercial break, the commercial it kept showing was an AI-animated commercial featuring a Hasidic Jew desperately searching for a garlic pill that will unclog his arteries but that won't make his breath smell bad. (Z) wonders exactly what he did to make the algorithm decide that is the right ad for him. You can see the spot here, if you wish. At very least, it's more interesting than Trump's speech.
Day two of the convention is tomorrow. We'll be waiting with bated breath, albeit bated breath that does not smell like garlic. (Z)