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I Read the News Today, Oh Boy: Caveman and Associates

"Caveman and Associates" was ostensibly the name of the personal injury law firm led by Keyrock in one of Saturday Night Live's very best recurring bits: "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer." The name was not uttered in any of the sketches, but in an interview, character creator Jack Handey said that was the name of the firm. For those unfamiliar with the character, the bit was that Keyrock fell in the ice many millennia ago, was found and thawed out by scientists, went to law school, and became a hotshot lawyer. He cynically pretends to be a humble caveman to gain the jury's sympathy, but at the same time drives a BMW, has a house on Martha's Vineyard, and wears bespoke suits made of Italian silk. Eventually, he runs for the U.S. Senate as a Republican, and promises to cut taxes on the wealthy. Why this character would have been on our minds the same night as J.D. Vance's speech (see above), we just don't know.

We had two hints for last week's theme: (1) "Walt Whitman would get this one right off the bat" and (2) "[W]e regret there was no good way to fit 'Ahab' into a headline." And here is the solution, courtesy of reader T.C. in Kirkwood, MO:

With Walt Whitman's poem eulogizing Abraham Lincoln, "O Captain, My Captain!", we look for words that will combine with "Captain" to form a meaningful pair:

In Congress: Johnson Just Loves This Kangaroo (Supreme) Court—Captain Kangaroo, a famous children's TV entertainer from 1955 to 1986.

It's the Stupid Economy: Don't Look Now, but There's a Diesel Crunch Underway—Cap'n Crunch, a sweet children's cereal with Cap'n a colloquial form of Captain.

Midterms: Charlie Cook Is Bullish on Dems' Chances—Captain Cook, famous English explorer of the Pacific.

Gerrymandering News: Judges Say, "Let America Decide"—Captain America. Marvel superhero.

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy: Daniel Craig as Mister Fantastic?—Captain Fantastic, a 2016 film featuring Viggo Mortensen.

This Week in Schadenfreude: Fox Confirms the Obvious, that Bartiromo Is Out—Captain Obvious, common response to one who states, well, the obvious!

This Week in Freudenfreude: Meet Tuco—Captain Tuco, a character in the Fallout video game franchise and a direct homage to the character in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly and hence also to our new E-V staff canine!

Excellent. Captain Ahab, from the Saturday hint, is another, and Captain Caveman, from the headline for this item, fits as well.

Here are the first 60 readers to get it right:

K.H. in Albuquerque, NM
R.S. in Milan, OH
G.M. in Gaithersburg, MD
N.C. in Columbus, MS
S.K. in Ardmore, PA
M.M. in Dunellen, NJ
J.T. in Philadelphia, PA
R.G. in Washington, DC
M.S. in Canton, NY
E.S. in Providence, RI
N.S. in Fayetteville, NY
J.N. in Zionsville, IN
I.H. in Occupied DC
E.P. in Windham, CT
D.P. in Mt. Rainier, MD
D.E. in Ann Arbor, MI
R.M. in Summerville, SC
M.B. in Albany, NY
D.D. in Highland Park, IL
J.M.R. in Munice, IN
B.R. in Arlington, MA
P.D. in Lanham, MD
L.B. in Savannah, GA
C.M. in Ottawa, ON, Canada
T.L.W. in Jackson, MS
M.Z. in Sharon, MA
A.C. in Kingston MA
S.I. in Minneapolis, MN
D.W. in Gurnee, IL
P.H. in Bozeman, MT

D.K. in Bethesda, MD
D.S. in Fort Collins, CO
T.K. in Manchester, MO
A.F. in Minneapolis, MN
M.W. in Altea, Spain
H.S.W. in Ardmore, PA
E.W. in Skaneateles, NY
M.T. in Wheat Ridge, CO
D.B. in Pittsboro, NC
R.B. in Richmond, VA
M.H. in Ottawa, ON, Canada
B.B. in Avon, CT
M.K.M. in Marblehead, MA
D.M. in Grand Rapids, MI
M.K. in Long Branch, NJ
J.W. in Poulsbo, WA
S.G. in Durham, NC
E.B. in North Liberty, IA
W.S. in Winter Springs, FL
D.M. in Lexington, NC
J.C. in Carmel, CA
S.F. in Pemberton Borough, NJ
K.J. in Toronto, ON, Canada
A.J. in Huddersfield, England, UK
D.H. in Portland, OR
K.E. in Peoria, IL
D.H. in Waterloo, ON, Canada
M.K. in Bothell, WA
J.H. in Lake Forest, CA
D.M. in Seattle, WA

The 60th correct response was received at 7:47 a.m. PT on Friday.

For this week's theme, there's no perfectly correct way to say how many words per headline it relies on, though we can say it's in the category Career Changes. We always use a real Trivial Pursuit category here, and that was one in the "Celebrity" edition. For a hint, we'll say Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit would have liked this theme, we think.

If you have a guess, send it to comments@electoral-vote.com with subject line September 11 Headlines. (Z)

This item appeared on www.electoral-vote.com. Read it Monday through Friday for political and election news, Saturday for answers to reader's questions, and Sunday for letters from readers.

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