Dem
47
GOP
53
Here is the question we put before readers last week:
T.L. in Minneapolis, MN, asks: As we all know, we're living in pretty extraordinary and difficult times. So I'd like to try to spread some love around.
Who do you look up to (whether famous or not) as a source of love and hope to help you to keep carrying on? And why?
And here some of the answers we got in response:
J.C. in Westminster, VT: I met the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on April 22, 1967, slightly less than a year before he was killed. He was coming to Brown University to speak, and my father, who was a chaplain at the university, was given the job of meeting him at the airport. I went along for the ride. What I remember most vividly about that meeting is the total attention that Dr. King gave to me as he reached over the back of his car seat to shake my hand. Two weeks earlier, he had come out publicly and forcefully in opposition to the war in Vietnam, and an ocean of criticism had fallen on him for doing so. Here was a man carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, facing frequent death threats, and yet he had the time and attention for an unknown 6-year-old white kid from Rhode Island. That is a lesson I have carried with me for almost 60 years: Pay attention to whomever or whatever is right in front of you. Attention and love are so profoundly intertwined as to be essentially inseparable.
J.E. in San Jose, CA: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). If she won't give up, then neither will I.
B.S. in Huntington Beach, CA: I will be very surprised if anyone else names my inspirational muse, but it is former UCLA Basketball coach John R. Wooden. One of the most extraordinarily successful coaches in any sport, his principled, kind and compassionate leadership through the tumultuous decades of the 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's displayed the power and effectiveness of his approach—not just to basketball, but to life. A day seldom goes by without me remembering and applying one of his adages: "You will get more with a pat on the head than with a swat on the butt." "Make each day your masterpiece." "Don't whine, don't complain, don't make excuses."
Subsequent to his retirement in 1975 after winning his 10th national championship, UCLA developed a variety of ways to recognize Wooden's legacy: the Wooden Athletics Fund, the Wooden Athletics Center, Wooden Way, and a bronze statue of his likeness. The university ultimately decided to name the court in Pauley Pavilion, the Bruins' home arena, after him. He refused unless they agreed to include the name of his wife and lifelong love, Nell. It was named, and remains, the Nell and John Wooden Court.
In the years after his retirement, Wooden was often asked about the basis for all of his success. He always said the same thing. He was an honest and simple man who did his best to live by his values. For his lifelong commitment to excellence, for his adherence to his principles, for his message and demonstration of love as the most powerful force in our lives, he remains the person who inspires me in the most positive way on a daily basis.
A.B. in Wendell, NC: OK, so this may seem, to some who know the after story, an odd choice. But... my source of inspiration has always been Rick Hansen. Despite some scandalous stuff later in life, he did something amazing that many readers my age may already know about.
Rick Hansen was a Canadian paralympian, having been paralyzed from the waist down in a tragic accident when he was a teen. He went on to do the Man In Motion Tour in the mid-80's, traveling around the world in a wheelchair. There is a movie about this, by the way, called Heart of a Dragon (not the film by the same name that stars Jackie Chan, incidentally).
See, here's the thing about Rick: You can't take away what he did then, despite some, as I said, salacious and scandalous stuff later on. With everything Rick had against him, he managed to persevere, and accomplished something incredible.
Incidentally, some my age may also know that the song "St. Elmo's Fire" by John Parr was a direct reference to Rick Hansen and the Man In Motion Tour. It remains, to me, one of the most inspiring songs ever written. And whenever I feel up against an insurmountable challenge, I channel Rick Hansen. I remember what he accomplished in spite of everything he had going against him, and I know that I can face my challenges.
M.G. in Boulder, CO: When I want to remember who I am and who I want to be, I reread the essays at the beginning of the classic vegetarian cookbook, Laurel's Kitchen (originally published by Nilgiri Press, 1976) and its second edition (1987). Co-author Carol Flinders says a new edition would require a complete rewrite, but I continue to value the ones we have (they are still in print) because they express the best themes of those breakaway decades—the importance of connection, the concept of living intentionally, and the recognition that our everyday decisions affect not just ourselves, but also the country and the planet, and should be made responsibly. When I mention those ideas in classes or to friends, they grab them with both hands because is there anyone, especially now, who is not looking for a better way of life?
As a bonus, the recipes are easy and appealing.
B.C. in Phoenix, AZ: I don't have a single individual I look up to, but a group of fictional characters: the detectives and other crime fighters of British television mysteries; shows like Vera, The Brokenwood Mysteries, Shetland, Midsomer Murders, Patience and many others. Weird, eh?
The producers of those shows seem to have a knack for creating characters who are intelligent, empathetic and flawed. You know, just like what you would expect of admirable real people! None of this MAGAnut garbage of "Lead detective who whips out a Glock and will 'Solve THIS case REALLY quick!'"
As I sit down in front of the TV in the evenings, and take refuge in these programs from a news day full of offensive and dishonest crap from the current American political world, I know I will head to bed later refreshed in the hope that there are real people out there who will tackle their jobs with a certain level of love and even enthusiasm, in spite of the personal travails they may be experiencing. I know, I know, it's kinda dumb... but it works.
K.H. in Scotch Plains, NJ: Not always easy to keep my chin up. For present-day, I will give a traditional liberal answer and say Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. I know it may border on cliché, but I feel no shame in saying what may be considered a generic answer. Their unshakable moral compasses and senses of humor (and the latter's devotion to the actual tenets of Christianity) are inspiring. For the past? I often look for inspiration to a Jewish man who was born on December 25 and died far too young.
That's right, Rod Serling. He wasn't as angry as he was portrayed to be, from what I've read, but his insistence on writing, on pushing forward and fighting, and on giving a damn about your fellow human beings always leaves me so impressed with what he did accomplish with the 5 decades he had on this Earth. Just wish he had another 5.
C.A. in Cincinnati, OH: I'd like to submit two names of people who I truly look up to. The first is Stephen Colbert. In a time in which masculinity is being redefined and not always for the better, I think Colbert is an exemplar of what it means to be a good man. He's curious; he asks questions and listens to people, celebrity guests or regular folks; he's himself, as evidenced by his public and undying love of the Lord of the Rings books; he's kind and compassionate; he's extremely funny (a sign of intelligence that cannot be faked). He also LOVES his partner Evie, something that is extremely obvious if you ever see them interact.
The second is Bruce Springsteen. I grew up outside of Cleveland, OH, in the late 80s and 90s and so have memories of the factories closing to set up shop overseas. The stories that Springsteen tells hit hard for me. However, his music isn't why I mention him as someone who I look up to; rather, it's been his vulnerability about his personal struggles with mental health that I think is most admirable. In his book Born to Run, Springsteen is very candid about his struggles with depression and finally beginning therapy in the early 80s (I highly recommend listening to the audiobook version as he reads the book to you—it's like spending 15 hours with the guy). Publicly, it probably seemed like the guy had it all: fame, fortune, good looks, and talent. So for a rock and roll artist that so many people saw as a blue-collar guy sharing his weakest moments in his life with the world took a ton of courage. Not the courage of physical strength but one that demands a lot of emotional intelligence and self work.
If you are a young man looking for a role model, ignore the Andrew Tates of the world, as they are just looking to swindle you. Look to either Colbert or Springsteen as an example of what it means to be a good man and I promise you'll get so much more out of life.
T.L. in West Orange, NJ: I take a lot of my solace in music these days when I'm looking for reasons to hope. Great songwriters, such as Dar Williams and the late Harry Chapin on the folk side, and Bruce Springsteen on the rock side, usually manage to make me think that perhaps we might just possibly make it through this. (A lot of qualifiers, yeah, but that's as close to optimism as I can get these days.)
A.C. in Kingston MA: I've got a few inspirations, both famous and not-famous. Among famous people, at the top of the list are two of my favorite singers, both of whom I've been fortunate to see in the last year: Cyndi Lauper (first night of her farewell tour in Montreal last October!) and Hozier (last summer in Bangor and last week in Boston). Besides both being brilliant musicians who write most or all of their own material, they both channel a lot of their commitment to social justice into their music. In particular, "Sally's Pigeons" (Lauper), "Nina Cried Power" (Hozier), and "Swan Upon Leda" (also Hozier) are pretty overt in their messaging, and both musicians spent non-trivial portions of their concerts making speeches about issues they (and I) are passionate about.
Closer to home, I'm inspired by others who do what they can to make a difference locally. I'm a member of several local action groups who organize small, peaceful positive demonstrations (my church even has a social justice ministry team dedicated to this), meet for "postcards to voters" nights, and organize charity drives for various community groups. I also keep in touch with other members of local government who take our responsibilities to our communities very seriously.
Finally, as a multi-instrumentalist (piano, violin, viola, mandolin) and singer, I find great solace in making music. There are a lot of like-minded people in the local folk scene. In particular, I get a months-long recharge from attending Maine Fiddle Camp and Fiddle Hell, neither of which is remotely political, but are nevertheless filled with kind, supportive, open-minded people. While obviously there are some awful people who are musicians, it's really hard to find one in the trad world. We're all sharing and supporting and learning from each other. Both of my kids are also musicians (multi-instrumentalists and singers, just like mom!) who actively participate in school and community based ensembles, and one of the greatest joys of my life is jamming with them.
B.D. in St. Agatha, ON, Canada: Tough question, and I will probably change my mind in about 15 minutes.
I am an amateur pianist. I have always loved Beethoven sonatas. He was a pioneer and a genius. He suffered serious hearing loss, starting in his 30's, and eventually become profoundly deaf. Yet he continued to compose until his death at 57. Most of us would have simply bagged music and composing after losing our hearing. Full disclosure, I have a degree of hearing loss, so I really identify with Beethoven in that regard.
Franz Schubert is another person I draw hope from. It is generally accepted that he contracted syphilis in his 20's, and despite that inevitable death sentence, he continued to be a composer of the most enchanting and beautiful music, eventually dying at 31. Most of us would have just put our heads in the sand, choosing to live on chocolate and riesling the rest of our lives. He composed more music in his 31 short years than many composers who lived much longer.
I also draw a sense of hope from Nelson Mandela. He was in prison for 27 years with no real prospect of release. I remember seeing the TV footage of him leaving prison in 1990, and just knew it was an important historical moment. Many of us would have simply gone home and watched tv or listened to podcasts for the rest of our lives, but he went on to help reinvent South Africa. I know he was not perfect, but his determination in the face of life in prison is inspiring.
As for joy, maybe watching Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly dancing?
T.J.R. in Metuchen, NJ: I'm going to answer somewhat obliquely: Bob Dylan. Perhaps not for love or hope but for sheer ineffable brilliance. To quote one line: "He not busy being born is busy dying." Words to live by.
B.P. in Arlington Heights, IL: I've written to you before, not that long ago, about Pete Seeger, but he qualifies here, too. Who else kept believing in the power of song, the power of left-wing beliefs, the power of people, in spite of myriad setbacks to his causes, to entire political movements that sought to quash people who felt and believed as he did, and kept on believing and believing?
M.F. in St. Paul, MN: In these difficult times, I'm inspired by Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib, a Palestinian-American humanitarian activist. At age 11, he and his friends were hit by an Israeli airstrike, which killed three of his friends and left him with permanent hearing damage. While Ahmed later received political asylum in the U.S. and became a U.S. citizen, 30 of his relatives have been killed during the current Gaza war, many by Israeli airstrikes.
Despite everything he has lost, Alkhatib remains a strong voice for peace, realistic solutions, and recognition of mutual humanity between Israelis and Palestinians. I found his statement on what being pro-Palestine means to him to be a thoughtful response to the all-or-nothing rhetoric we often hear from both sides of this conflict.
S.A.K. in Karnataka, India: For me, it is the Palestinian mothers of Gaza who, throughout this ongoing genocide, have displayed inspiring resilience, steadfastness, and courage. I have had the honor and privilege of speaking with many of them over the past 12 months. All had lost at least one child. Some had lost all their children. Yet one could clearly discern their unmistakable mental strength through their voices. They attribute their exemplary response to such trauma to the strength of their faith.
Their patience and tenacity in the face of extreme depravity and oppression stand as a shining example for a world looking for hope.
P.J.T. in Raton, NM: Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, who just celebrated his 90th birthday, stands as a fortress of light in an ever-darkening world. A religious leader who doesn't proselytize, a violently overthrown political leader who has never advocated violence in response and whose leadership of the Tibetan diaspora has been lauded as a model for refugee populations everywhere, the Dalai Lama has ever advocated for dialogue and peaceful resistance. Excepting the Pope, he is likely the best-known religious figure globally, but eschews pomp and describes himself as a simple monk, whose religious beliefs can be summarized by one word: "kindness." Ever the bridge-builder, his book The Good Heart explores the parallels between the teachings of the Buddha and the Christ. When I saw him speak in Denver many years ago, he was joined onstage by representatives of other religions to emphasize how easy and important it is to cross barriers to work together in the compassionate pursuit of peace. Of fire, he has the fire of love, but of brimstone he has none.
S.T. in Asbury Park, NJ: One of my favorite inspirational books, which has been with me when facing hard times in my life, is The Book of Joy which was based on an extended in person discussion between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. You really feel like a fly on the wall listening to two very wise men share their experiences and how, despite great odds, they remain joyful with a positive attitude. That these men found a way to get through challenges (the Archbishop was in the midst of a difficult cancer when the interviews took place) with strong and positive attitudes is inspiring and one can try (probably not to their level) to implement those to find peace.
G.R. in Carol Stream, IL: I look up to my faith community. I'm privileged to be part of Jewish and Christian faith communities which generously accept me as I am. Both traditions have much to offer in examples to follow and ways to get grounded on what's important, filtering through the noise and the bullshit.
In my view, being part of a community (of faith or not) which connects one to something larger, older and more permanent than oneself, is an essential part of staying sane in a crazed world.
D.M. in Wimberley, TX: In the personal realm, people in my recovery community, trying to work the 12 steps and live lives free of addiction, centered around acceptance and compassion.
At a distance, I greatly admire climate scientists and science communicators who are trying to get the word out. I worked for several years for Radio Ecoshock, a Canadian radio show which features interviews with climate scientists every week. Alex Smith, the host of that show, has done an incredible amount of public service work, entirely in the hope of opening people's eyes to the grave reality of this situation. He gets zero financial reward and does nothing to make himself a celebrity.
I also greatly admire the late Donella Meadows, her husband Dennis, and the other authors of The Limits to Growth, which sounded the alarm on biophysical resource limits, way back in 1972. Their work, which they tirelessly defended and expanded upon, shows that it would have been possible for us to live within planetary boundaries, although now of course it is far too late. They always knew humanity changing course at scale was an incredible long shot, but they never gave up.
M.A.H. in Warren, MI: I've come to respect my dearly departed mom as very wise and quote her often ("There's a whole lot of law in this world but very little justice" and "There but for the grace of God go I") but my sources of love and hope are my three young cousins and five great-nieces and -nephews ranging in age from 7 to 21 years old. I came late to political activism and am retired now, so in my small way I protest against the cruel ignorance of President Trump and his administration and I'm very concerned about racism, generational poverty, and global climate change, all for the sakes of those young people. I'm grateful every day for the love and hugs I get from all the kids, from Lady M and Sir M (the two eldest) down to Master W and Little Miss B (the two youngest), and I'm proud to be in their family.
K.S. in Harrisburg, PA: I find love and encouragement from friends and family. It's fortunate that almost all of us are similar politically, so we can be open with our feelings and share stories of hope. The downside is that means I'm living in a political bubble. However, more than ever, politics these days is based on background, education, likes, and dislikes. It turns out that one's friends and family often share those factors so it's not surprising we agree politically.
I also get a lot of comfort from Friday's Freudenfreude feature. It reminds us that a person can do well by doing the right thing. (I enjoy Schadenfreude as well, but that's more a guilty pleasure.)
M.A. in Park Ridge, IL: At last, an easy one! My wife and my boys give me a reason to soldier on, and (even at the darkest times) make everything worthwhile.
P.M. in Palm Springs, CA: Being an atheist, a realist and a pessimist, but also a liberal activist, I do not have an easy answer like God, or my father, or my wife or Maya Angelou. In my most hopeless moments I often think of Camus' existentialist work, The Plague. The doctor is asked why against all odds, amid unfathomable hopelessness, with everyone selfishly and ignorantly, looking out for themselves, does the doctor go on, doing what he can to save people. The doctor responds that to struggle against the odds is what makes one human. To fight the absurdity of the human condition is essential. I would add that my secondary thought is that as long as one person is fighting an injustice there is hope. That one person should not be alone.
Here is the question for next week:
D.C. in Portland, OR, asks: Electoral-Vote.com is now 21 years old and thus mature enough for an adult libation. What would its "official" drink be, and why?
Submit your answers to comments@electoral-vote.com, preferably with subject line "Salud!"!