Jul.23

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Dem 47

   

GOP 53

Today in Bending the Knee

Donald Trump may be flailing around like a puppet under the control of a madman, but we most certainly have not reached January 7, 2021, status yet. He still has an iron grip on many and varied elements in American society, and so can bend them to his will. Examples from just the last 24 hours:

• What Took So Long?: As Trump has worked his way through a greatest hits of bugaboos, trying to deflect attention from Jeffrey Epstein, we have been wondering when Hillary Clinton and trans athletes would make their first appearances. Well, Tuesday was the day. Clinton was lumped into the attack on Barack Obama (see above). And, as to trans athletes, the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee announced that it would yield to "guidance" from Trump, and would ban trans women from being members of the U.S. Olympic or Paralympic teams.
  
  It is probably worth noting, at this point, that this question has been studied, and the conclusion was that trans women who have undergone hormone treatment do not have an advantage over other women athletes, and may actually be at a disadvantage. Also, there have been a grand total of three trans women athletes in the Olympics, only one of whom (Nikki Hiltz) is American (she did not win any medals). Still, undoubtedly readers will sleep better knowing that our long national nightmare is over.
  
  
• There's The Met, and Now, The Melania: Everyone likes to be flattered. But what if the flattery is transparently not genuine, and is only meant to butter up the recipient? It would seem that Trump is either unable to tell the difference or, if he can tell, he doesn't care. So, he was delighted to learn that the Senate Appropriations Committee had voted, along party lines, to honor a notable patron of the arts, and to bestow the name "First Lady Melania Trump Opera House" on the currently unnamed opera venue at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
  
  The decision still has to be approved by the full Senate, and then by the House, but is there really any doubt here? There is no Republican member willing to die on this hill. So, the only real question is, "What show will serve to debut the rechristened First Lady Melania Trump Opera House?" Our vote: The Bartered Bride, by Bedrich Smetana. Although we could see a case for The Merry Widow, by Franz Lehár. Call it a little foreshadowing. Those are just our suggestions, though; what do readers think?
  
  
• UNESCO: This isn't exactly kowtowing to Trump yet; it won't be until the 90-day review period is over. Still, Trump announced yesterday that he is commencing the process of pulling the U.S. out of UNESCO, because he says UNESCO is: (1) too woke/pro-DEI, (2) too pro-Palestine, and (3) too pro-China. This will be the fourth time the U.S. has withdrawn from UNESCO, incidentally; it also happened under Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush and during the first Trump presidency. In other words, when a Republican takes over, the U.S. leaves; when a Democrat takes over, the U.S. rejoins.
  
  
• Coked Up: This is the oddest item on this list. In short, Trump has expended some time in the last couple of weeks complaining that Coca-Cola in the U.S. is made with high-fructose corn syrup, instead of cane sugar. The apparent source of this complaint is the belief, on the part of HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy and others, that corn syrup is unhealthy, and cane sugar is better.
  
  Trump undoubtedly does not know that Kennedy is only half-right. Corn syrup is indeed unhealthy. However, cane sugar is not better; it's unhealthy in the same ways, and for the same reasons. Trump presumably also does not know that the glut of corn syrup in the U.S. came about because corn farmers (i.e., a Trump demographic) needed to be able to do something with the glut of corn they were producing. And finally, we presume Trump does not know that Coke made with cane sugar is... how they do it in Mexico. One would not expect him to look to the good people south of the border as a role model, but there it is. ¡Saludos Amigos!
  
  Anyhow, Coke announced yesterday that Trump is going to get what he wants... sort of. They are going to begin selling sugar-cane-based Coca-Cola in the U.S. again. However, they are not getting rid of the corn-syrup Coke, they're going to just add another line of product with special labeling. Coca-MAGA, maybe? We're not sure if the corporation is trying to curry favor with the President, or if they just saw a marketing opportunity, or both. The only thing we are sure of is that Donald Trump Jr. must have been delighted when he heard that American coke is about to get better.

In short, there's a fair bit of pandering going on right now. Maybe even a lot of pandering, depending on how you score the Coke story.

And now, the counter-example. One place where you are not going to find any pandering to Trump is on CBS, from about 11:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. on weeknights. There is none so free as one who has nothing to lose, of course. And while Stephen Colbert was not exactly taking it easy on Trump over the last 10 years or so, any existing restraints have been removed. The network can't cancel Colbert, because they already did that, and they still have to pay out his contract, whether they put him on the air or not. Indeed, one wonders if this was a backdoor way of poking Trump in the eye; giving Colbert 10 months' warning, and thus 10 months to run hog wild.

In any case, Trump—who couldn't find the high road if you gave him a compass, a GPS, and you left a trail of bread crumbs showing the way—celebrated Colbert's demise with a couple of low-class messages on Trump's less-audience-than-Colbert-on-his-worst-night social media platform. This was the first of them:

I absolutely love that Colbert' got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings. I hear Jimmy Kimmel is next. Has even less talent than Colbert! Greg Gutfeld is better than all of them combined, including the Moron [Jimmy Fallon] on NBC who ruined the once great 'Tonight Show'.

The point here is that Trump took the first potshot, and basically dared Colbert to respond.

And respond is exactly what Colbert did. On the first brodcast after the announcement (and after Trump's cheap shots), Colbert had a few choice things to say. You can see the whole monologue here, if you wish:

It was chock-full of comments at the expense of Trump, with many references to Jeffrey Epstein. However, the moment that went viral came at about 4:36, when Colbert shared that snotty message from Trump, read it in his best Trump voice, and then said: "How dare—how—how dare you, sir? Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism?" Colbert then turned to a camera that had a pre-installed graphical frame with the label "Eloquence Cam":

Once he was on the "Eloquence Cam," Colbert issued forth with his satirical witticism: "Go fu** yourself" (and yes, it was bleeped out on-air).

Anyhow, it's going to be very interesting to see what Colbert does now that, in his words, "the gloves are off." We predict that he's going to exit late night on the best run of ratings he's ever had. (Z)