Dem
47
GOP
53
Here is the question we put before readers many weeks ago:
J.B. in Radnor, PA, asks: How does one keep their sanity and avoid becoming depressed from getting so deep into all the demoralizing news in U.S. politics, and the country as a whole?
And here is another round of the answers we got in response:
D.A.A. in Seattle, WA: I wanted to add to the valuable list of coping strategies, especially the one from reader A.H. in Newberg, who practices mental health during the Trump Regime by "beating the hell" out of some wood with a hammer. Right on! It's amazing what therapeutic power a physical act, coupled with visions of destroying the Dark Power in the world, can do for you.
I stumbled onto a similar outlet many years ago by hacking invasive ivy off of trees. I'm one of hundreds of trained volunteers in Seattle (and nearby cities) working to save our forests. English ivy, blackberry, clematis, holly and other non-native plants are killing our woods—but, one tree at a time, we're making progress. The forest I work in has had nearly 3,000 trees "ringed" of ivy, whose weight can otherwise topple them. The sawing, hacking and prying can be hard work, but in 20-30 minutes you can save a threatened tree that is hundreds of years old! During the W. years, when the rage over the needless Iraq War seethed in my veins, I went to the woods and took it out on the ivy. These days I am "attacking" the Ballroom and the Arch, and, metaphorically, all the un-American invasive forces of the intolerant Right creeping over and smothering the country I love. After a few hours, I emerge tired, happy, victorious. One voter, one tree at a time doesn't seem to matter, but 3,000 trees is an entire forest, providing clean air, living places for critters, and the magical refreshment of time spent in the green.
I urge all your readers to Do Something, and if it could possibly have a physical component, that's even better. We have to stay strong to resist those who will ruin our country.
P.J.T. in Raton, NM: It's probably helpful that two areas of deep fascination for me are the Ancient Greeks and the Vajrayana Buddhism of Tibet, two cultures that recognize(d) suffering as inevitable.
Among the Greeks, Sophocles recognized that the gods could be inscrutable, unjust and even grotesque, but that we had it within ourselves to face our destinies with dignity. Oedipus famously murdered his father and married his mother, with whom he had four children. Freud based an entire theory on this narrative—though, if truth be told, the real complex should have been assigned to Oedipus' father, Laius, who nailed his infant son's feet together and had him tossed into the wild as wolf-chow—but I digress. Oedipus, even while the horrible reality slowly reveals itself (and will lead to his blindness), pursues the truth unflinchingly, in service of his community. My favorite tragedian, Euripides, had a more modern view: in both The Bacchae and Hippolytus, suffering is the inevitable consequence of a psychological imbalance—choosing one god (Apollo and Artemis, respectively) to the absolute rejection of another (Dionysus and Aphrodite). By rejecting wild nature, and therefore life itself, Pentheus (spellcheck, ironically, wanted to change his name to Penthouse) and Hippolytus suffered horrible deaths.
The Buddhists had a different view. The reality of Suffering is the first of the Four Noble Truths, the cause of which (the second Noble Truth) being the ego's clinging, which expresses itself as desire and repulsion—that is, we cling to what we think we want, and push away what doesn't please us. While I'm not a very good Buddhist—having abandoned my practice long ago—the simple practice of shamatha, a breathing meditation, has proven useful throughout the decades. One concentrates on the exhaled breath, and whenever thoughts arise (and boy, do they arise!), you return to the breath once you realize you've been distracted. By this method, even the most horrible thought-forms (e.g. MAGA, Trump, Pete Hegseth, the Epstein files, Netanyahu) dissolve in your breath. Buddhism also teaches emptiness—that is, that we are in reality empty of independent existence, and are closely related to and interdependent upon every other living thing, the recognition of which cultivates compassion: i.e., my life is not my own, I am but a single gesture of an incomprehensible vastness. (Imagine my delight over the recent discovery of LUCA, the common ancestor of all life on Earth, and King Charles' statement that we are a part of Nature, not apart from it—something my poetry has stressed for years.)
When one returns to the breath (and remember that the Latin spiritus means "to breathe"), over and over again, dissolving thought-forms, one directly experiences the bedrock of Buddhist thinking, that all things are impermanent. Realizing the literal impermanence of the Pedo King of Lard o' MAGA's golden toilet and statue of himself, the sadistic shelling of Ukraine, and even that the planet appears to be dying from the wetiko or pleonexia (greed to the point of severe mental illness) of billionaires is, at worst, an effective coping mechanism.
But one thing still truly disturbs me. I have a trans son, and the recent murders of Persia Conway, Eryka Caldwell, Pais Haris and Jade Roberts make me fear for his life, as trans-hatred is the Salem of our time—much as Laramie and Matthew Shepard was the Salem of the 1990s.
M.H. in Arvada, CO: I didn't think I had a unique method of coping, but after reading the responses, I just might, so I thought I would chime in.
Narcissists have a way of making everyone around them miserable. It's the emotional manipulation, the entitlement, sucking all the energy and happiness out of a room, and the demands of attention and adulation they command, that forces everyone in their orbit into a parasitic abusive relationship. I didn't really realize the extent of the damage that relationship had taken on me, until I started attending protests and was surprised how much community and common experience we we're all sharing. My logical brain already knew this, but emotionally, I had felt so completely isolated, and it dawned on me THAT was the effect and the intent abusers have on people. They convince you you're the only person who is having an issue with them by utterly saturating the environment with their presence. It's designed to make you feel small.
So what did I do? I stopped having a relationship with Donald Trump. I still keep abreast of politics and news (obviously, because I read this site), but I have not listened to his voice since the debate with Kamala Harris in September 2024. That means muting the television whenever a clip of him plays, but then listening and considering the subsequent commentary. It means mostly reading my news. It means completely giving up late-night talk shows. (Last Week Tonight being the only one I miss. All the others pretty much repackage the same joke over and over again, anyway).
Trump, being a textbook narcissist, hostilely demands attention from us all and I refuse to give it. That is my line. He doesn't pay the price for being in my head, I do. He thinks the presidency is just show business and di**-swinging, and we all have the choice whether to consume his content. You are in control of what you let into your ears. I made the decision to leave our relationship almost 2 years ago and I am immeasurably better for it.
J.G. in Covington, KY: I recommend exiting social media. I wrestle far less with negative emotions than the people around me because I refuse to enter into that toxic sewer. Then find a reputable, but less emotionally manipulative, source for news. Like, J.P. in Pittsburgh, I chose the BBC. But whatever you choose, I suggest keeping the amount of time you spend on it short. Life is lived one moment at a time. How many of those precious moments should be devoted to worrying about bad news around the world?
G.R. in Tarzana, CA: As someone who would spend 3+ hours a day reading newspapers, and watching news, and even have a history having worked in both the media and politics, I realized that the media I knew no longer exists, with its main focus now being on getting eyeballs and clicks, so stories are crafted to make sure everyone becomes worried about what they are reading and are forced to come back again and again, hoping the story isn't as bad as they're being lead to believe. It's the old media expression, "You're all going to die! Film at 11!"
So I've backed away from the news, simply scanning the headlines, and saying, "don't care" about most of the stories, as I know they're mostly clickbait, and I've reduced much of my politics reading to this great site I found called Electoral-Vote.com. The site presents everything I need to know, in the vacuum of real analysis, what history tells us about what we're seeing, what we should be concerned about and what is paranoia blown out of proportion. Oh and they do that with side detours into fun non-political discussions and world class snark.
Finally, due to the friendships I've made during my career, I have regular conversations with comedians and comedy writers where we make each other laugh regarding what's going on in the world.
Finally, probably best of all, once a month, I'm fortunate to have a lunch with a small group that includes one of the legendary comedy writers from the last 50 years, sharing stories and making each other laugh for hours, while eating great deli. Okay, it's not all that great, as I first have to listen to them drone on endlessly about the Mets, but once they get that out of their system, it's clear sailing.
B.H. in Frankfort, IL: I agree wholeheartedly with G.K. In Blue Island that the company of a dog lifts the human spirit and makes the world seem better. I will also add that riding roller coasters has helped me keep my sanity, or what's left of it. I strongly recommend Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH. It's a separate universe where flying through space at amazing speeds up, down, upside down and inverted is perfectly normal. No worries, because you are not in control anyway. The physics and technology are amazing, and the people-watching is entertaining. The sheer joy on people's faces, especially children, helps to renew my faith in humanity. It helps being in the company of grandkids. Great bucket list item.
Also, regular breakfast get-togethers with friends can lift the spirits and help a local business.
D.A. in Brooklyn, NY: My suggestions:
- Engage with the resistance. There are so many outrages, each with their own resistance movement—but they often overlap and, like the flood-the-zone outrages, are synergistic. Pick the one(s) closest to your heart and most logistically available: immigrant support, free speech on campus, workers rights, anti-war, anti-genocide. Work with: DSA? No Kings? Socialist Alternative? Progressive Labor? As well as (or especially) with local ad-hoc groups.
- Think of small, local things to do—engage with your neighbors and/or co-workers. Challenge cruelty with kindness.
- Keep aware but don't wallow in the all-the-news-of-all-the-outrages—and especially limit your reading of hyper-ventilating op-eds against the Trump administration.
- Remember that the evils didn't start with Trump nor will they end with Trump. It's a long, hard road. But you're not alone, you will have more on the road with you with each month.
- And then, for me, there's always playing guitar and writing songs. You have (everyone has) art. Do it.
P.M. in Port Angeles, WA: I follow a concept espoused by Dr. Thomas Szasz: The entire human race is insane. He doesn't say that, but the inference is clear: "[L]ook at the condition of the world, politically, militarily, environmentally or personally! Is this what a sane human race would do? I think not, so I will just wallow in the inept insanity of the entire human race, just sufficiently to maintain my own insanity."
J.K. in Brooklyn, NY: Baseball. If you're not already, pick a team and become a fan. Your team will play almost every day for half the year. Politics and current events aren't often mentioned on the broadcasts, so it's a good escape for 3 hours or so. For my sins, I suppose, my team happens to be the New York Mets.
The other 6 months? Classic film, and the music others have mentioned. Bob Dylan has been pumping them out for 64 years and counting.
M.M. in San Diego, CA: There is an underlying biochemistry facet to anxiety: Insufficient choline.
While this study relates to anxiety disorders, reduced choline levels might heighten reactive anxiety induced by the current administration.
W.W. in Washington County, OR: Books are great, whether engaging mysteries, escapist science fiction or fantasy, or fascinating history or biography. The biggest advantage is that you can take a book with you, or read an e-book on your phone. Puzzles are good too, like crosswords or jigsaws, or bigger puzzles like genealogy and DNA genealogy. More engaging by far is dancing, ideally to live music.
I'm a big advocate for dancing generally, but dancing with a partner to live music works best to keep me totally engaged and in the moment. I can't see how it would be possible to worry about the destruction of Western civilization when I'm dancing playfully with a great partner to a hot band. I've enjoyed Argentine Tango, Blues, Bourrees, Cajun, Line dancing, Mazurkas, Polka, Swing, Waltz, Zwiefachers and others, but am most engaged with contra dancing. One wit described it as being "like the English dancing you see in a Jane Austen movie done to the driving rhythm of Riverdance and set down in Woodstock" and that paints a vivid and not entirely inaccurate picture. The contra dance community is also engaged and collaborative, and welcomes new people. (Check trycontra.com to see if you can find a dance near you.) Generally, my suggestion is to find the music you can't sit still to, see if you can find people dancing to it, and if you like their company. What's not to like? Music, physical activity, and engagement with others makes for a great combination.
L.S. in Black Mountain, NC: I'm learning a lot from the novel I'm reading, Stone Yard Devotional by Charlotte Wood (recommended). The narrator is a woman whose marriage has broken down, precipitating a retreat to a convent—even though she is not (she thinks) a believer. She went seeking refuge and comfort, not spiritual refreshment, but finds much more than she expected. There are two thoughts (so far) that will stick with me after the last page is turned.
First, the narrator quotes the headmaster of her Catholic high school telling his students, "Don't worry about anything; pray about everything." I've been repeating this to myself, and then trying to do it. It can be very calming.
Second is the short phrase, "And yet..." This appears in the story (and I don't remember who said it) as the equivalent of "This too shall pass." If you find yourself falling into despair over the state of the nation and the world, remind yourself that everything changes. Yes, things are terrible, and yet...
C.W. in Visalia, CA: I enjoyed reading the letters about how my fellow readers deal with the disturbing times we live in, because I use similar strategies to cope with depression. Music, moderate alcohol use, exercise, woodworking, gardening, reading novels and positive relationships with friends and loved ones help me deal with sadness and negativity.
I have experienced a series crisis that shook my faith in things that I believed would always be there for my safety and well-being. My parents' divorce, an abusive stepfather, and a loss of religious faith made we strive to create my own happiness. I had a deep faith in the United States of America, until we invaded Iraq. Barack Obama gave me some hope, but Donald Trump's first election was a crushing blow to the last of my faith in America. Joe Biden's election offered a little hope until we drifted into Trump's second term. My faith in the American people has died. I endured 10 years of torment under my stepfather and the last 10 years feel like another test of my endurance. Losing faith and experiencing disillusionment is not necessarily a bad thing. I try to live in the present and be grateful for the many good things in my life. I seek out people who are positive while ignoring the MAGAs who wish to torment me.
S.C. in Lawrenceville, GA: I have read the many fine suggestions about keeping sanity in these times. To an extent, I am already doing many of these things.
I have one suggestion to add. It grew out of a road trip I made with a friend in the weeks right after the 2024 election. We started at her house in the Dayton, OH, area, headed east through Springfield and Columbus to Zanesville, and then south to Marietta. From Marietta we followed the Ohio River to Madison, IN, headed north in Indiana, and then back east to the Dayton area. Along the way, we stopped at every single Underground Railroad site we could find. The entire trip was thus filled with the amazing stories of those searching for freedom and those aiding the searchers. The courage and sacrifices made by those people were inspiring.
Toward the end of the trip, I realized that at that very dark time in our American history, there were many who stepped up and did the right thing, even if it cost them their lives. I came away with the hope that if this country again descended into such dark times as a result of the 2024 election, brave Americans of conscience would once again choose to do what is right, rather than just do what was safe. Now when I get discouraged, I remind myself of those brave Americans of the 1800s. Then I consider the Americans of today who are stepping up to do the right thing, among them protesters, certain lawyers and judges, certain media figures, certain politicians, and people like you who keep sites such as this going so that Americans can learn the truth about things and, by reading reader comments, realize we are not alone and there are things we can do now. Thank you for providing this site, and thank you to the readers who so often give me encouragement. It is a great thing to know so many of my fellow Americans are stepping out with courage to defeat the current darkness.
P.L. in Minneapolis, MN: I live just a few blocks from the Third Precinct. While it burned following the murder of George Floyd, we stood in our yard as the sky glowed orange and ashes slowly fell down around us. The next morning, as we went out into our neighborhood, we saw neighbors with brooms, shovels, and garbage bags, cleaning up the streets. Just a few blocks away, the neighborhood park was filled with grocery bags packed with food and necessities for anyone who needed them.
This January, when the U.S. Government invaded my hometown, murdered two of its citizens, and terrorized our populace, I joined with my neighbors. Some of us wore day-glo and stood sentinel at street corners, bus stops, and schools to ensure our neighbors could make their way to school or work. Others of us collected food and necessities and delivered them to our neighbors in hiding while the occupation endured. Many others bundled up and raised their voices in opposition.
As solidly Gen-X, it's easy for me to "meh" my way through all of it, but in the words of one of the only "real adults" from our childhood, I "look to the helpers" to maintain my sanity in these insane times.
There are more of us than them:
Photo taken May 29, 2020 at Longfellow Park, MPLS.
Here is the complete list of responses to this question, so far:
We've gotten so many good answers, answers that cover a lot of different ground, that we're going to do one more entry next week. If people get ONE good idea out of the series, then it will have been a wild success.
Here is the question for 2 weeks from now, when we will finally move on:
T.B. in Waterloo, IA, asks: I'm turning 50 in September and to celebrate, a friend of mine and I are going to London for a week. (She turns 75 the same day I turn 50.) This is a lifelong dream of mine, as going to London has been #1 on my bucket list for the last 30+ years. To say that I'm excited is an understatement. I was wondering if any of your readers have suggestions for sites to see, or restaurants to visit (perhaps with favorite dishes to try)?
Submit your answers to comments@electoral-vote.com, preferably with subject line "London Calling"!